Planning for the Inevitable

So I’m a weird person. I think we all can agree on that.

I mean, I reorganize my clothing closet for fun on a Wednesday night, and I actually order a book called “Death for Beginners” to put my affairs in order at the ripe ole age of 28.

After my father’s death, I realized that I needed to put things together just in case something ever happened to me. Now, my husband is an incredibly smart man but dealing with the affairs of a house while trying to plan a funeral is a horrible thing to put on the shoulders of a surviving spouse. I don’t want him to have to spend hours figuring out which bank account the rent comes from and what bills are auto-paid and which ones have to be authorized. I want an organized transition, as much as that is possible. My dad did that for my mom, and it was really helpful.

However much I thought I should take care of it, I kept putting it off. It’s REALLY hard to think about how your spouse will deal with the affairs of the household when you’re gone. Because, um, you’d be dead. Well, either that, or in a coma or some other awful thing that I really don’t want to think about.

BUT I have to do it. I have to. It’s not fair to leave your affairs in complete disarray.

When my grandma passed in September, she had everything organized. She told my mom where the important file was and even where the “deed” to the family cemetery plot was (it was right where she said it would be, written in 1929 on a piece of cardboard. We loved it!). She had put everything together when she got remarried, because she knew that it would be easier for her family if it was all organized. There’s still a lot to do but at least we know where all the titles are and what kinds of accounts are out there.

So that leads me to my random Sunday afternoon of planning my funeral and organizing my affairs into a “Hit by a Bus File.” I read Death for Beginners: Your No-Nonsense, Money-Saving Guide to Planning for the Inevitable by Karen Jones which is actually an amusing book (and a quick read) that lays out all the options of how to handle your body after your die, what the options are for a funeral and so on. It is kind of a hard read to think about that being YOU they’re talking about burying but I feel more comfortable about the decisions for my final resting place now. I know I’m only 28 and these choices may change, but should I get hit by a bus tomorrow, my husband will not have to remember what song I wanted to be sung at my funeral. (It’s “How Beautiful” in case you’re wondering.)

Because that’s the thing – this book’s website has a full PDF download of a huge planning document. It has a checklist of the different options of burial, cremation, donation to science, all that! It has a place to record which songs to be sung and readings to be done at the funeral. Then, it has pages and pages of prompts to list things like bank accounts, passwords, financial information, what to include in your obituary, who to contact to inform them of your death, insurance information and other information like leases on random properties and more. It is a complete list that printed out, filled out, and placed in an important place (remember to tell someone about it, too!) it organizes all your affairs in a way that won’t burden your loved ones when they are grieving. In the case of a coma or other horrible thing that makes you unable to run your house, it’s also really helpful for someone to know that information to keep your affairs going until you can return to them.

I wasn’t compensated for this, but someone on Twitter asked me to post about it, and I think it’s really important to have things organized like this. Take an afternoon, print it out, and fill in the blanks. If something happens, you’ll feel better knowing that your loved ones can have all the information they need.

I Would Love to Take the Credit, But…

Meghan at Unintended Housewife posted a comment on my Thanksgiving recap yesterday about those acorn treats and how she wanted the recipe. So I must be honest – I did not make them! My cousin’s wife who hosted us for the fabulous meal was the one responsible. But I sure ate my weight in those, along with the baked brie.

I remembered seeing a tutorial on Pinterest about these same goodies, so I’ll link to Kristen at We are THAT Family for a great tutorial.

But there are two points that my cousin told me about how she did hers. She had a bag of regular kisses AND a bag of cherry cordial ones and used both bags. I’ll admit that I’m not a huge fan of cherry cordials but they added a nice element to the peanut butter and chocolate.

Also, since she’s a real baker, she ended up using icing (I think) to adhere the peanut butter sandwiches to the kisses. She whipped it up real quick and that was easier for her.

For someone who is looking for an adorable dessert to bring to a party, I would recommend these from the guest’s perspective – they were YUMMY and I could not keep my hand out of them all day long. Kristen and of course my cousin’s wife seemed to think they were pretty easy.

Happy acorn making!

Thanksgiving Recap

This was the first Thanksgiving without my Grandma. My only cousin on my mom’s side and his wife hosted us (his mom, my mom, my brother and my husband) for Thanksgiving this year and did a dynamite job. They still had some of the photos we displayed at the funeral up on their buffet and it made me smile the Grandma’s high school picture (the bigger one) and her second wedding day (the smaller one to the right of the big one) were in a prominent place and reminded us that she was still with us.

My mom bought the tablecloth and napkin rings last year and my cousin’s wife reused them this time around! But she upped the ante with the centerpiece. Those silk flowers were GORGEOUS. I don’t know where she found such good ones!

I almost skipped dinner to eat the baked brie. It was magical.

It was such a great combination of food, family, football and late night shopping. I love Thanksgiving!

Missouri Border War–A Thanksgiving Tradition

My family loves football, even though none of us went to a school that had a particularly strong football tradition. In fact, my and Husband’s alma mater of dear St. Louis University, has been undefeated in football since 1949. Hehe. That might be because we haven’t played a football game since then!

In any case, the past few years that we’ve been spending Thanksgiving in Kansas City with my mom’s family, some contingency of the group has gone to the Border War – the Mizzou/Kansas football game. Sometimes it’s warm and sometimes it’s not. Today, it was not!

We had fun at the game, but the thing that got me was the Kansas fans. They were just plain rude. Now, I’m all for cheering on your team and booing the refs for a particularly bad call, but this was beyond that. We were sitting in the Kansas section unfortunately, but still, there were some other Missouri fans around us.

During a M-I-Z-Z-O-U cheer, we heard “sucks” right after our ‘Z-O-U’. This actually happened a couple of times before I turned around to the Kansas fans and said that it was really sad that they were doing that and that WE didn’t do that during their cheers. They had a young kid with them, which is encouraging the next generation to be as rude as the parents are.

I overheard them a few minutes later saying then why did our fans boo their marching band. I told my brother who was sitting next to me that it’s wrong to boo the alma mater, the other team’s band or cheerleaders.

When I was a cheerleader in high school, I feel like we were held to a higher standard than what was displayed at Arrowhead stadium today. We took a knee when a player from the other team had an injury, and we shook hands with the other team at the end of the game.

Am I missing something? When did it become ok to boo the marching band?! Let’s stay classy and give a nice round of applause on a good play and listen to the band as they’re marching on the field in 42 degree weather. And for the love of God, let’s get excited for that poor twirler in the middle of the field wearing only a leotard!

It’s only a game, after all.

A Thanksgiving Law

Tonight at dinner with Mom, Brother, my only cousin on Mom’s side and his wife, we were delighted to hear Mom’s philosophy on Thanksgiving meals.

I give it to you in one law and its corollary, so you may enjoy your Thanksgiving tomorrow.

Mom’s Thanksgiving Law One:

There are two types of people in this world – those who want a traditional holiday meal each year, with the same dishes the same way, every time; and then there are those who want to spice it up each year and make changes to the menu.

Mom’s Thanksgiving Corollary:

In addition to the above, there are also two other types of people – those who plan and cook the meal; and those who eat the meal. Those who eat the meal can’t complain about the choices made by the type of people above, because THEY DIDN’T COOK IT.

Mom also told us that there’s a third type of person under the corollary – that’s her, because she offered to plan and cook and do everything but was told by my cousin’s wife that it was ok, and my cousin’s wife would cook everything at her house this year. So given that she offered, Mom has the right to offer her opinion on dish selection, even though she was not involved with the cooking.

Thank you, skinny margaritas at 54th Street Bar and Grill on the day before Thanksgiving, for giving us this law. We will ever be appreciative of the knowledge!