... is over. After 5 batteries in three years, we have a solution.
Well, the situation has finally resolved itself - after a few hundred dollars, that is.
Where we last left the Saturn, the mechanic has located the problem in a battery cable that was corroded on the inside and thereby killing the battery. So we came up with a back up plan (borrow a car from a family member if the car dies again, and save up money now in order to purchase a new car in the future). But it turns out we didn't need the plan!
With plans in place, we left for Christmas and New Year's and then proceeded to come down with a horrible cold that knocked both of us out of commission for a whole week. Come last Thursday, I finally needed my car and not share with Husband so I went out to start the car. SURPRISE! It doesn't start.
After another AAA service call and another new battery, Husband and I decided to drive the Saturn straight to the dealership and leave it with them to divine the problem with my dear car. I explained the latest problem to John, our service tech.
Me: "So the AAA came today and tried to jump the car, and it somehow started with a big jump. But when he couldn't figure out why the brand new battery died, he decided to dig deeper. The battery tested fine when it was out of the car, but the minute you attach it to the coupe's battery cable, suddenly the battery reads at half power. How can that be?"
John the Saturn tech: "Um... I have no idea. I've never heard of this problem."
Me: "So I'm special. I get that. But I'm leaving it here until you guys can figure it out!"
John the Saturn tech: "Ok... I'll call you when we have an answer!"
I don't think it's good when you confuse the mechanic. I mean, aren't they supposed to have seen everything about cars?
In any case, the mechanics at Saturn finally got to the bottom of it. I have no idea how they did it, but they did! I finally have my car back! Believe it or not, the broken power locks [that haven't worked in eight months] somehow have been constantly firing and draining the electrical power from the battery. They fired and fired and fired all day and all night and ended up killing every single battery that was placed in the car.
I almost want to buy the mechanics and John the customer service tech something nice. Because they gave me my car back! Wow. :) I'm a happy camper with a car that doesn't die AND has its power locks working again!