One year ago today, my world was irrevocably changed with a call I received while making coffee for a mid-morning meeting. I always knew that I would have to deal with my parents’ mortality, but I honestly thought I thought it would be many more years before I was faced with the situation of one year ago.
I still find it hard to believe that my father is gone. On the way home from an important meeting or a particularly fun night out with friends, I still find myself reaching for the phone to call him and let him know how things went.
My first post after the blogging break due to his death really says it all. It’s very raw, and it hurts me to read it.
Needless to say, I’m still hurt. I miss him terribly. I know that those feelings will never go away. They are a bit softer now, one year later.
I spent the day busy at work, while mom and brother were at my apartment, puttering around and waiting for me to get home.
The afternoon had a nice symmetry to it – we met at SLU and my mother passed along a donation in Dad’s name to the Service Leadership Certificate program. It aims to get business students involved in service leadership to the community in order to really make a difference in those communities. It’s the perfect way to commemorate his life. He even gets a conference room named after him! It was very exciting.
Then we gathered in the chapel and had mass said for the repose of his soul. That also was full of symmetry. Coming back to our faith time after time during this past year has helped keep me center.
We believe that he is not gone, but has simply passed on to his Eternal Reward. It’s what we strive for all our lives – to die and be reunited with our Heavenly Father. So it’s very hard to be sad for him because he has what he has always wanted. We grieve for ourselves, because we are left behind.
But I know that with each passing year, he is with me. And someday, we will be reunited in Heaven, when it is our time to leave this earth. It’s important to remember that.